Being Seen: Alejandro’s Story

Alejandro Marcel joins OutstandingLife from a place many people don’t expect: a nursing home. Before that, he lived in a nursing home on Cape Cod, where he had friends and attended a transgender support group. When he relocated to Western Massachusetts, those connections fell away.

A friend suggested he try OutstandingLife. New to the area and looking for community, Alejandro decided to attend. “I was very excited—not only about meeting LGBTQ people in general, but about the kinds of events OutstandingLife offers,” he says. “For someone like me, OutstandingLife makes you realize very quickly that you’re not alone. You come to a group and suddenly the isolation lifts.”

Community That Honors People
What stands out most to Alejandro isn’t just the variety of programs OutstandingLife offers, it’s how people are treated when they show up. “There isn’t a time I come on late that [Amy, the program director] doesn’t acknowledge me. That alone makes a difference. Those small things make people feel seen.” In addition to the trans support group, OutstandingLife offers more than 150 virtual programs each year, including game nights, coffee chats, book clubs, wellness programs, and social gatherings. Alejandro is  drawn to programs that are open, honest, and thought-provoking.
“They’re interesting. They’re thought-provoking. They walk on the wild side. They’re honest,”he says. “And there’s space for everybody’s perspective.”

He points to a recent program on pronouns as an example. “There’s an assumption that we all know what we’re talking about,” he says. “But these conversations open the door to ask, ‘What does this really mean to me?’ That matters.” “I’m an old-time trans person—I’m 71 years old—so I’ve been through it,” he adds. “To find something at my age that’s this interesting is a big deal. A really big deal.”

He also values the people who show up. “The participants are fantastic,” Alejandro says. “Everybody is open, and there’s space for every style of communication.” “This is better than TV,” he adds. “This is reality. This is your community—in action.”

Inspired by Harvey Milk
A trans elder and longtime LGBTQ+ activist, Alejandro has witnessed profound change. His commitment to connection was shaped by hearing Harvey Milk speak on Castro Street.

“Harvey said he wasn’t running for the people in San Francisco,” Alejandro recalls. “He was running for that poor kid in Oklahoma who thought he was the only gay kid in the world.”

Years later, that message resurfaced during a webinar Alejandro spoke on for a trans health clinic. Afterward, organizers told him that a young trans man in the audience had been crying. “He said, ‘I never thought I would see a transgender elder. I never thought I could live that long,’” Alejandro recalls. “It haunted me.”

Showing Up
Motivated by that experience, Alejandro began organizing conversations that bring trans elders and trans youth together. “We as elders have been there,” he says. “We may not have given birth to these kids, but they are our children too. And sometimes we’re the ones who can fill in the gaps.” That belief reflects what Alejandro values most about OutstandingLife.

“I had no idea how many LGBTQ+ communities were out there,” he says. “OutstandingLife helps you see that you’re part of something bigger.”

Why OutstandingLife Matters
In a time of rising anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and deepening isolation, Alejandro believes connection matters more than ever. “Right now, we need to hold each other,” he says. “Even if it’s over Zoom. A lot of it is laughter. A lot of it is tears. And a lot of it is learning.”

For Alejandro, resilience doesn’t come from going it alone. “Goodness will outlive evil,” he says. “But only if we stay connected. Only if we’re ready to rebuild—together.”

From a nursing home, Alejandro is doing exactly that. And through OutstandingLife, he’s helping ensure that no one has to feel like they’re the only one.

Your donation to OutstandingLife helps older LGBTQ+ adults—any of whom have experienced isolation, discrimination, and invisibility—feel seen, valued, and connected. A gift of any size reduces loneliness, expands programs, and strengthens community. All programs are free, and all are welcome. OutstandingLife is more than a platform. It’s a promise: that everyone deserves community, dignity, and joy.